A Good Day to DIE

DIE

(Death's Imperial Entourage)

 DIE is a subpar carebear guild that falls short of just about everything not unlike the thousands of other guilds just like it across the mmo stratosphere.

there are however a few key differences between DIE and all of those other guilds. the most important of these differences aside from their monumentally ridiculous guild leader and his remarkable ability to find a combination of the worst and stupidest players to rebuild his ranks from game to game is that there is approximately 15 years of history and subsequent bad blood between this group and those of us here at SBG.

The story of DIE is a long and sordid tale wrought with unbelievable retardation, as such it is difficult to know where to begin and you will have to bear with me. 

 15 years is a long time, and as such i will have to omit the many tales of inner guild love triangles, jealous wives, guild disbandings by grayrage over raid loot, officer conspiracies, regime changes, guild disbandings at the hands of game staff, account thefts, last minute server switchings in order to avoid other guilds, bannings, faked deaths, using aliases to avoid us and so on and get right to the footnotes.

 many moons ago we were all in a guild called darkenbane together, and despite many different factions of people that just plain didn't like one another and years of annoyances, drama, bickerings, feuds and so on we lasted as a guild for about 6 years.

 the last straw came about when grayrage got pissed off that a pre existing guild he had absorbed (despite nobody wanting him to do so) failed to call and notify him in the middle of the night about a rare dragon that dropped an item he wanted and killed it without him. it ended up dropping the item and so in a fit of rage he disbanded the guild and moved to a pve server where nobody heard from him for 2 years. one day he came back during a period of the guilds inactivity bringing several new guys unfamiliar with his past and appointed himself leader again where he began endorsing the use of radar hack programs. this did not sit well with myself or others and after many heated discussions we left, a few months later grayrage and his supporters had a fall out with the other half of what was left of darkenbane over which faction to play in world of warcraft (lol) and he left to form DIE.

i should mention that die is an old eq guild that was founded by a pk named "inorcist" who after pissing off a bunch of people pretended to sell his account and formed die so that he could go on pve raids. the current incarnation of die including grayrage himself are not affiliated in any way with the old die although grayrage likes to pretend as though the guild has an ancient pedigree when in reality he simply hijacked an old name and mass recruited during the world of warcraft beta.  

all 3 guilds have vehemently hated one another for the past 7 - 8 years as a result of the rivers of bad blood, in fact i doubt it would be any kind of a stretch to end up with a massive brawl if certain members of the various guilds were all present in the same place.

due to poor leadership and an ill concieved shift from pk guild to carebear guild darkenbane died several years ago.

DIE has played several games against us and to date has been thoroughly embarassed in each before moving along to the next game, whereupon they do a complete wipe of their forums and website and start over with a mostly fresh mass recruited roster unfamiliar with the history.

vintage screenshots!

this was when it all began seven years ago. grayrage and what would later become his right hand man during the early days of DIE discussing how to install radar hacks.

 two years before this screenshot grays original EQ account was finally banned, he told everyone it was for corpse camping a druid named linguica and goaded half the guild into powerleveling him a new character (that he promptly quit a few days after completion) but it was later revealed that the banning was for his long time use of SEQ. incidentally several years later during age of conan i managed to get this fraps footage of two DIE officers speedhacking (one managed to fuck up the direction he was going and shoot off the side of a cliff killing himself which was highly.......... amusing =P, the other after seeing himself outed in the video threatened to come kick my ass irl lol)

a leopard doesn't change his spots and hacking douchebags remain hacking douchebags.

meet hyp

 hyp is the latest in a long line of grayrage sidekicks. just before the NA server launch a number of DIE folks played on the euro server to familiarize themself with the game. periodically hyp and i would have a conversation that would end up with him making grandiose statements alluding to my demise.

did i mention that darkfall will be hyps first mmo other than a few month stint in warhammer? this obviously makes him an expert on pvp, guild management and overall badass. he also already hates my guts because gray likes to embellish things and tell his new members that we are all KKK members and neonazis (ironic and hypocritical since in the old days he stated his desire to "take my sks and kill all the blacks" in florida), due to the IQ level of his memberbase this means anything we say about gray must be untrue and thus dismissed.

hyps anger is far more profound however as he has an unholy fetish for black women and accidentally sired a niggerbaby with one of them.

apparently i am a douchebag and a nonfactor meanwhile hyp along with his 1500 man alliance (with guilds like varangian guard.... lol) is going to rule all of darkfall.

 it also does not matter that i have shitloads of material making a mockery of his guild because i am an asshole and therefore tens of thousands of people did not watch them.

as a sidenote i always get a chuckle out of massive zerg guilds in massive zerg alliances calling people nonfactors as it is the definition of hypocrisy for an mmo. these are all people who are complete shit at the game and on their own or with just their guild cant make an impact of any kind (aka nonfactor), as such they lump together into increasingly larger and larger groups until they believe they can achieve something and typically fail anyway. meanwhile they point to small guilds that dominate them at every contact and call them the nonfactors!

it is like the standard "lol your gear sucks newb" that you would recieve on the boards after kicking some pve raider tools ass over his shoulders in world of warcraft, it just makes no sense.

 oh yeah......

i will NEVER get a member into their guild or steal their guildbank!

 (i had a mole in their guild with access to one of hyps alt accounts at the time of this conversation)

here hyp continues to point to DIEs guild ranking in warhammer (lol) as evidence of their dominance.

4 of us played warhammer, we played for about 5 days before quitting the game due to the fact that the game was absolutely nothing but a dumbed down world of warcraft battleground. even the "pvp" server we were on was a joke. there was no reward for winning or penalty for losing, keeps could be soloed in 20 minutes and nobody was ever out in the world to kill because all advancement came from grinding a battleground constantly.

in that period of time however we fought organized die groups a lot as they already had well over 100 members, every single time our pickup went against a group with more than 50% die members we simply won. without exaggeration im talking out of probably 50+ of these sort of matches whichever random allotment of newbs we got tossed in with prevailed in stunningly epic fashion over the "organized" die guild grouping as william wallace and a contingent of woad raiders would over a class of autistic kindergardners.

the games "guild ranking" was nothing more than a tally of "points" that you acquired through playing battlegrounds win or lose. it was truly a game for terribles, the online equivalent of modern day politically correct little leagues where the shittiest players not only get trophies to but get trophies just as big as the top team.

 as such hundreds of members + growing cellulite on your gelatinous ass in front of your monitor 14 hours a day while getting owned in a battleground = success!

the NA server has launched and we are now in the first weeks of the game.

(to hear an amusing recording of die's vent when we declared war on them during the first few days click the above picture, best part.... "lol do they know how good we are??" yeah dude... we know)

early on awakened and i made alts and kept them camped at the chaos stone next to talpec (their city) where we would periodically take a break from advancing our real characters to log them on, situations such as this played out constantly.

here i have come out from my hiding spot and stolen a horse from a guy using the bank, whereupon a gaggle of DIE members chased me halfway across yssam and then despite having a clear field of view for hundreds of hards in front of them continued in a straight line, barrelled over the side of a cliff and kept going like something out of a bugs bunny cartoon.

meanwhile awakened was back at the city killing all of the afk macroers.

other times when alone i would just ride over to the fire dragon spawn where i along with whomever followed would get killed by the dragon. the amount of reagants, mounts and crafting materials banked on this character from killing their macroers and crafters throughout the day was just ridiculous.

i had made a late night checkin on my real character (who already had 50+ melee mastery, full plate and rank 50 weapons while half of die still had not purchased their second newbie weapon yet) and killed everyone for a bit before getting bored with the endless wave of naked mana missilers spewing forth from the bindstone.

hyp makes another prophetic foretelling, in addition to NEVER getting into their guild or stealing their guildbank i will also NEVER kill him! only this time instead of it being because he will whoop my ass it is because he is going to avoid me =P

evidently after the late night massacre and subsequent saturday day morning phonecall from grayrage morale was down.

this is an old soundboard of grayrage made by a disgruntled DIE member during world of warcraft.

lol can you imagine having this nasally voiced windbag roust you out of bed in the morning to let you know someone came through and killed your guildmembers the previous night?

poor hyp first he gets stuck with a black kid (much like jim carey in "me myself and irene") then he gets sucked into die and now gray is harassing him, a meteor will probably crush his house tommorrow

WHAT UP MY NINJA!?.......  huh? oh, well....... sorry dont mind me im just a fucking idiot.

the fact that you used to be able to create as many characters as you wanted on 1 account meant that in addition to all of my portable banks, bank thieving characters and so on i also had a mole in DIE since launch, obviously i rarely logged in as i had my real character to build yet.

everytime i did however there was usually some good laugh or drama unfolding. the incident with this poor newb is one of my favorites, he mistelled and typed in guildchat instead of to his friend. the standard wigger greeting of "what up my nigga" aside from being moronic in its own right is VERBOTEN in the politically correct atmosphere of die despite the fact that the 5 or 6 genuine niggers in the guild call one another a "nigga" all the time. whats good for the goose is NOT good for the gander!

best part aside from the fact that the chastised obviously meant nothing by his statement and is getting chewed out over it anyway is "thats some darwoth shit right there!" lol, 85% of the freshly recruited roster have never played in a game against me but they all know darwoth is bad! =P

also my greeting would have been something like "hey daefuin why dont you stfu and shine my shoes you fucking nigger" instead of the afore mentioned ebonical blasphemy. 

click on the picture above to watch a short video clip that will explain the following picture

lol

after killing a harvester on the chaos stone alt hyp consulted his radar and after seeing that i was alone courageously storms ahead (warhammer style!), manages to knock his own guildmate off a cliff with one of the few swings that connected with something other than air and nearly gets his mount killed by a newbie character with 3 weapon skill. 

it only took a small amount of prodding to get him to rage at me and spam my screen. not sure what he was trying to accomplish with that exactly as even though he didn't know this was my alt he still looks like a a total moron, i guess he was so pissed he couldn't stand seeing my comments.

..............................................................

 this is a bit confusing as i fucked up with my screenshot taking, annoyingly i didn't have fraps loaded and didnt realize it until after i relogged to put an alt in the guild (was going to try and loot the bank a second time a few days later).

to summarize i am pretending to be maule, a longtime goober member of DIE and one that would be instantly promoted to a high rank position with no questions asked. i sent a tell to cabone (as i knew him to be one of the dimmer folks) who then directed scarpia to set me up on the roster, probably because he didn't know how.

i was invited and promoted to captain by scarpia within about 2 minutes of logging in and asking. the above are screencaps of some leftover welcome back spam, their bank in my bank and of their empty guildbank. again the fraps fuckup prevented me from getting the initial open bank shot which is always my favorite =/

realizing my initial invitation and promotion had not been recorded i wanted to salvage the situation and have something to show, so what better than grayrage himself blindly promoting me even further up the chain!

here i also insinuate that i know a dupe, this is eagerly recieved by gray who lets me know which of his officers are "trustworthy" which translates into a list of officers that are using third party programs. a few days later i would personally witness both grayrage and hyp teleporting then several months after that aries was banned for hack useage. 

so close =P

 i was a gnats ass hair from having grayrage himself cause the loss of his guild and holdings, which would of caused the entire guild to immediately ragequit the game. but alas while being a douchebag gray has been around the block a few times and though it was delayed his intuition finally kicked in. it is unfortunate that none of the other supreme generals were responsive as i probably could have gotten ranked up through one of them.

by the way, gray wasn't really interested in duping. he was just pretending to be so he could root me out as a spy!

i break the bad news to die that they have just been looted by the guilds evil nemesis, but it doesn't seem to register for anyone except azzazz (who along with other old timers like berdoff and rykker is essentially the only competent member of the guild) as everybody else continues to welcome me back to the guild.

while i take on the role of goodwill ambassador and strengthen the diplomatic ties with one of their new allies widgette sees through my web of deceit and asserts that he "already knows i can't take from the bank"

these people vote...... =(

"sneaky chiva" as one might guess from the name is a dumbshit from some south american shithole of a country. apparently in keeping with the theme he has also never seen the inside of a schoolhouse without dirt floors as he starts off calling me a pussy that needs to go play the sims but then two minutes later asks me how im going to afford a house when i have to donate to the guild.

uhh............

 yeah, i know.

scarpia also decides to ignore the super tough "offer no mercy, ask for none!" stance and skip right to the begging approach in a futile attempt at recovering the stolen items.

"hey i bet your wife fucks niggers! lol!"

.....

........

GRAAAAAAAAR!!!!

IM SO ANNNNNNGRYYYYY!!!!!!!

 i suppose when your guild is populated with an abundance of folks like this.....

that is the best you can come up with.

yes that is an actual member of die (kreamz) who was "bustin a rhyme" about how he was going to own some warcraft guild. be sure to click on the picture to see the video.

if you read any of the banklooting episodes you were probably waiting for this part.

as always their bank had nothing in it and i spent 50 bucks for the sole purpose of stealing not just guildbanks, but THEIR guildbank.

in standard fashion grayrage tries to save face and spin things, and as usual he gets caught up in said spin making himself look like a dumbass.

 in this particular example we have him telling his guild how he was cleverly distracting me so i would stop looting the bank (in front of his eyes apparently!) and he could demote me. once it is revealed that the bank was already looted before i even spoke with him he calls me a moron and switches over to the "yeah well if you had not looted the bank you could have convinced me no problem that you are a guy i have known for 5 years and whom i have the phone number of"

problem with that one of course is that he got suspicious and demoted me before he even knew the bank had been looted which kind of throws a wrench in that load of  to.

i will end the bankloot banter here as not only is the rest of it more of the same ol tired "lol you suck! lol your wife sucks niggercock! lol your an inbred redneck! lol you spent 50 - 150 dollars to steal our bank!" and so on but the bullshit is simply to deep to wade through at this point.

apparently die does not and has not ever used hack programs in their lives.

 nevermind the pictures at the beginning of this segment, the bannings of their members, or THIS video from aoc of two of their high ranking officers using said hacks against yours truly.

hey guys don't forget.....

i will NEVER loot die's guildbank and they had nothing in it anyway! for some reason it appears i didnt get the second shot of nonstackables such as the bags of armor and weapons but there was enough mage armor and other basics to keep me outfitted for several months.

the first picture is of the end score when hyp and his guild quit the game and left the server with their tails between their legs.

the second is the banter after i went into the middle of talpec solo and killed grayrage, was then chased out of town by several DIE members only to have that number triple as they began popping out of the ground (hyp teleported to my location about 10 feet behind me during the chase, followed by grayrage who magically materialized out of thin air fully geared a 15 minute ride from where he was killed)

the chase culminated in a 10v1 (see video by clicking above picture) where in spite of tunnelvision and really terrible stamina management on my part i killed hyp twice and scored two other die kills. some highlights include using a die member on a battlehorn as a shield to block spells/arrows, grayrage triumphantly charging into the fray until getting hit twice then parrywhoring to shore not to be seen again and denying the zerg a killshot by drowning myself once out of stamina.

the thing that annoys me here however is that had i managed my stamina in that fight and not gone into the water i am 100% sure that i would have killed every last one of them, but alas i had been grinding and macroing not doing much pvp and thus was as rusty as a niggers sports car. 

hyps response here sums up the mentality of these sort of guilds pretty well "so what u died!" it doesn't matter if these folks bring a hundred people and you kill 99 of them, go linkdead and die to lagging into a spawn of mobs.

it does not matter how badly you embarassed them because THEY "WON"!

.........or something

 "so what u died 2 times! blarglarglarrrr dur hurrrrr"

as one might expect a guild like die doesn't last long in a game like darkfall as they are not resilient enough to handle a major setback and bounce back from it.

a few weeks after the european server transfers arrived on the NA server DIE lost their city to a stronger zerg than their zerg ( VAMP and Nemesis ) where 90% of the guild promptly quit the game or the guild right there, then the ten or so remaining players faded out over the following month and DIE is now back to sitting on their empty forums and playing nothing again.

 many of the older experienced DIE members (the glue that holds the guild together) have stated that darkfall will be/was their final hurrah and that they are done with mmo's. if so then this will probably be the last we see of DIE.

but who knows........

perhaps (hopefully) ol gray can drum up another gaggle or two of gullible newbs to kick around in the next one.