Repository Ripoff

(EU-1)

Ask any kid around what their favorite time of year is and they will probably say christmas, ask any adult what their favorite holiday was (before they had to drop several hundred dollars on a brood of shitty ungreatful little bastards) and they will probably say the same.

this is not due to a particular religious fervor but the good ol artificial commercialization of the day and the transformation from christmas into "presents day".

 everybody likes to open presents.

 one of the most fun things for me back in UO was fighting over IDOC's because when you made it out with a few chests of loot opening them was exciting and interesting, you never knew what was inside. it could be nothing but junk or it could be a fortune in rares, but the excitement of not knowing is what made it fun.

That element is one that has been missing from games since UO and i never expected it to return, but it did in darkfall...... sort of.

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 The Vindicators

the vindicators were one of darkfalls first massive zerg guilds, one we had tangled with since beta, in the first week of launch they were sporting over 150 members. if you stumbled onto one of them it was only a matter of a minute or two until 5 more showed up, and usually the second you spotted one of them he would haul ass in the opposite direction until meeting up with his friends.

 after one such zerging where moc and i had felled several before being drowned in bodies i had an idea, little did i know it would end up being one of my favorite activities in darkfall.

After a quick search of their guild roster i saw they had an officer named "jon anderson" and after an attempt to send a tell verified that he was not online, for those of you uncultured heathens that do not know any better john anderson is a country singer. 

obviously aventurine, like every other mmo company would not allow an immersion destroying name like that to remain unchanged.

amazingly the hasty plan i had concocted only minutes before worked, i really hadn't expected it to work at all, let alone so easily.

 Within 14 minutes of creating the character and making up a bullshit story about how the GMs had changed my name i was noy only in, but bumped up to colonel. the vindicators bank was now my bank. 

this was my first attempt at leaving a calling card, unfortunately nobody ever got to see it in all of its glory due to the fact that vaults appear differently for each person that opens them.

after banking all of my new loot i set out as fast as i could for the vindicators city hoping to get there before it was discovered that the bank had been robber, i wanted to see if my rank would allow me to do anything cool like delete buildings and so on.

on a side note apparently kurzgan was doing something cool until his mount died and ruined everything.

a few minutes later my treachery was discovered.

 the only logical option at that point was to start banning people from the guild. after dealing with the games epic lag for three removals i quickly decided that trying to autorun through obad on a newbie character while waiting for pages to load was no fun and concentrated on trying to make it past the chaos stone alive.

while ni hao demands answers in officer chat belal agrees that my playstyle is the way to go.

also camperus only trusts his penis, unfortunately for him i doubt any women do.

 lol

 after arriving at the vindicators city i was greeted by a half dozen naked polearm wielding retards and despite it being 6v1 actually managed to kill one with a brand new character and a leafblade.

par for the course.

 This was extremely early on in the server and while the above loot might seem like a pile of newbie shit (because it is) at the time it was a fortune. nobody had mounts, a suit of cloth was worth looting, a swarm of naked mana missilers was the most formiddable force one could go up against and a suit of banded was priceless.

 i should mention here that i didn't really expect the above to work, and if it hadn't i probably would not of tried again on other guilds. the fact it did however, and so easily is what encouraged me to rip off guildbanks as much as i have in darkfall.

therefore if i have stolen your guildbank thank azekiel didact of the vindicators!

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 The Old Timers Guild

after my unexpected success with the vindicators it was not long before i decided to try my hand again, this time the target was going to be the old timers guild. one of the vindicators primary allies and another 150+ zerg guild.

 the primary difference between old timers and vindicators is that old timers were (and still are on the NA server) content to just die in place while the vindicators would at least attempt to fight.

 the vast majority of the old timers guild did nothing but harvest trees and rocks 24/7 for the entire time we played on the eu server.

once again 15 minutes after creating the character i was in, promoted and in posession of yet another zergling supply cache.

i was quite happy to discover a smiley face shield in one of the bags and promptly placed it back in the vault.

with the loot banked and my new calling card left i set out autoswimming to rubaiyat as i still wanted to see if i could fuck with anything in the town itself and i was unable to test it out with the vindicators.

this is a good intropspective look at these zerger guilds.

awakened was fucking around on rubaiyat and killed a few retards outside of the old timers city, not only was he the only one of us on the entire continent but we have never had more than 8 or so actives in our guild total since starting darkfall.

naturally this translated into 10 - 15 of us riding around ol tyrels corpse in a mongolian cavalry circle.

night ravn discovers that something isn't quite right.

it seems that a wire was crossed somewhere because he kept jumping from one question to another without letting me finish.

not like i was lieing, i did take the resources, and i was planning to make a bunch of shit with them. likewise as everyone knows i certainly am the king of the universe.

while swimming to ruby a nice young lady by the name of miz arie kept me company with some conversation. among other things we discussed the semantics of zergs and happiness, mourned her lost bag of daggers and cursed those "mangy mutts" of the mercs!

20 minutes later she was finally clued in that i had looted the guildbank, news travels fast in the old timers guild!

for those not understanding the joke, "irritable male syndrome" is the latest round of idiotic psychobabble thought up by some effeminate jackass to make himself feel better about his lack of testosterone. when someone showed me the link at first i thought it was a joke only to discover it wasnt! what is your irritable male score?

 http://theirritablemale.com/quiz2.htm

typical unstable woman logic.

she is on my nuts to get in vent, but wont give me her vent info. asks for my vent info, recieves it then doesn't want to talk to me there either. demands to know what sexual favors she can perform to get her guilds loot back, but is unwilling to come discuss the brokerage of the deal!

i guess i will just have to wait until "i decide to get serious and want to actually give a fuck" to look her back up again.

damn dirty old timers, rejecting my application and such.

 months later she sent me a tell letting me know she no longer cared about her guildbank but that she was still pissed off because i said she was stupid when she asked.

 after getting to the town and running around trying to see if i could do something mischevious only to be dissappointed i ran up to the bank and started celebrating my victory hoping for a quick return to my bindslot so that i could sort and transfer the loot.

i should of just recalled because it took over 5 minutes of standing there pumping my arms in the air and loudly cheering while everyone at the bank just stared at me giving dirty looks, then surrounded me.... and FINALLY started attacking.

the only thing i can figure is that they had to first get permission with a half dozen different people in vent before attacking the guy that stole their guildbank.

 pretty good haul, especially for that early in the server. those colored ingots later went a long way towards leveling up weaponsmithing mastery on our crafter alt.

look at the already made pvp "battlepacks" for some nostalgia and how early in the game this was. padded armor, goblin weapons, 25 arrows, newbie stam pots and a mount lol.

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 Varangian Guard

 varangian guard is yet another massive guild of shitty players, at the time they were by far the largest guild in darkfall at 221 members.

this particular guild is special however due to the fact that instead of just being another month old clumping of walking dirtnaps they had a pedigree stretching back a bit.  moc and i would annihilate full groups of these guys on a regular basis in vanguard only to be met with lots of public channel whining, trashtalk, insulted levied towards our mothers and accusations of hacking.

despite being a huge guild in that game as well they never amounted to anything and quickly fizzled out once their members started being absorbed by all of the other better guilds leaving them with an army of level 15 - 30 newbs.

nonetheless it is always more fun to screw with people you have prior history with.

i get an invite from keno lair but he clams up at ranking me and makes up a story about being bugged and unable to promote.

 thankfully the guy he directed me to was a giant moron and happily promoted me to supreme general 3 minutes after asking.

the fact i was already in the guild and therefore "verified" by keno probably helped, but still.

after securing my presents in the bank there was only one thing left to do.....

and that was to relieve dxun and his fellow incompetants of their command.

while doing this i noticed that in addition to now being the supreme general of an army of dipshits i was also the proud new owner of some beachfront property in the humanlands.

at prime time in a clusterfuck as large as the varangian guard there is no lag time in noticing something fucked up is happening. while some folks speculate and others discuss what is currently exploitable some delve into uncontrolled "lols", meanwhile anokei shadowgrip lets me know that i had better stop now.

 to alleviate any confusion i decided to touch base with my new guild and make an announcement.

 surprisingly between the repeated notifications that i can fuck off, eat a dick, will be banned, am a hacker, need to die and so on several people seemed to not only not care that i was now the new leader of the guild but welcomed it with open arms.

you know a guild is a mass recruited sack of shit when not only does a random stranger get promoted to the leader position and take over the guild due to the stupidity of the real leaders, but then finds support among the membership.  

 DID THE CLANBANK GOT LOOTED ???

for some reason everytime i see that one line i laugh my cock off.

 in any case apparently I am the one who has been owned (or "hahaha fucking owned bitch" if you will) according to helm breaker because some other guy had all of the "important stuff" in his bank. i guess the guild itself and the guilds city does not qualify as the "important stuff"

lol its almost to bad, several of these poor guys were FIRED UP at the direction of the "new guild" and ready to kill everyone and everything. of course that begs the question of why did they join a giant carebear guild to begin with, if it wasn't for that glaring fact i might have directed a few of them to our recruitment boards and saved them from a boring lackluster playstyle.

 oh and then theres this guy.....

 according to mr dies alot i am king manus of wessex, and this internet badass here is going to make it his lifes goal to plunge him into financial ruin and annoy him with nasally voiced prepubescent phonecalls due to my asshattery. sorry about that manus.

my favorite part is the line about resorting to tactics like this proves beyond any doubt that it is ME who lacks the skill and intelligence to win in the game. i guess in order to be a truly worthy and intelligent foe you must stupidly fuck over your entire guild by losing their city, bank and guild itself in the span of three minutes. blahahaha.

a snapshot of a few of my loyal followers.

 i considered putting together a raid of the 10 or so people in the guild that were online and wanting to stick it out with me. i figured it would have been funny to go raid other guilds/cities within the alliance, however reality won out and i quickly dismissed that notion as me being on a brand new character commanding a force of naked mana missilers against a much larger force of naked mana missilers would have been nothing but a waste of time spent meeting/traveling only to instantly dirtnap at the destination.

 i arrived at my city and started playing around with things testing shit out like i had been wanting to do. i was annoyed to discover that there was no delete option as i wanted to delete all of the buildings so that varanagian guard could not reform and siege the town back later.

after i was done testing things i contacted one of the officers of wessex (only fitting i thought) since they were being blamed anyway and later ended up giving the city away to them, since their zerg at the time was the largest on the server it meant that VG would not get their town back. also, despite happily claiming responsibility ourselves since wessex now owned their old town it seemed to lend validation to the theory that they were behind the whole thing or at least involved in some way which helped to fuel hatred between the two alliances.

 some last minute 4th grade cafeteria rage before the final rounds of guild removals.

lets see what the peanut gallery has been saying this whole time.....

it must suck to not only lose your bank, guild and city but then have to try and explain to several hundred people just how it happened. lol 

 its always funny how people like to say soandso was HACKED whenever something like this happens in order to save face in an effort to paint the scenario as being anything other than entirely their fault. instead of the simple truth, the fact that someone fucked up instead it is a nefarious plot by an evil HACKER that they could do nothing to prevent and could have happened to anyone.

then the conversation always goes into how it must be a bannable offense and the GMs need to swoop in to protect them all from their own lack of good judgement.

what a bunch of fucking sheep.

 also gotta love the dumbass toward the end there proposing a grandiose inter alliance agreement to hunt down and kill all of the evil bank scammers forcing them to reroll due to the foul reputation they earn for themselves.

the idea that someone might have an extra account is thinking way to far outside of the box for this poor fellow.

 before and after

right about here is when i started trying to condense the loot shot into one picture instead of several, at this point i was vendoring junk like newbie weapons and tools etc before snapping the picture.

some decent loot, a good start to leveling enchanting and at the time a nice amount of regs,gold and resources. 

VG never did recover, this shot was taken over a week later and this is about as large as they ever got again on the eu server, shortly afterwards the guild fell apart and lost just about everyone to other guilds. several months later with the launch of the american server they made a brief comeback spurred on by the promise of a fresh start, promptly mass recruited and allied half the server as before, then failed miserably and fell apart even faster than they did on eu. on the na server they lasted two months.

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 Oromea

Oromea was yet another massive guild of well over a hundred members, this one however had the added bonus of being a roleplayer guild. not just a roleplayer guild..... but an ELVEN roleplayer guild.

 simply being an elven roleplayer guild makes oromea worthy of being fucked with, however they are also a hypocritical roleplayer guild as they are allied with the vindicators, old timers and all of the alfar roleplaying guilds. how that works out in their roleplaying exactly im not sure, but i guess lumping together in fear of a potential attack on their town trumps what ever ideals the guild was founded on.

in any case my desire to nail another big zerg guild clear sense of roleplaying ethics could not tolerate this travesty.

i pick a name and start in with the standard load of shit, but whats this.....

i have not been instantly promoted like the last three guilds, she even seems a bit suspicious.

SHE IS A CRAFTY ONE!

she hints that i should know what she does in the clan, so i stall for time to think of what to say next by responding that she does a lot for the clan. all women like to hear compliments of any kind and that always helps to soften them up.

meanwhile i have been tagged and have my foot in the door, just need to close the deal.

this is a blurb of the conversation that was finishing up right as i was incited, as you can see she is suspicious, probably due to the fact that several of their largest allies have recently had their shit ripped off under the...... EXACT SAME CIRCUMSTANCES she was now faced with.

on a side note i agree with tais, all timber should go into the guildbank guys. everything should go in the guildbank actually.

 i was just starting to try and get bumped up when suddenly.....

AN ELVEN NEGRO STARTED TO ASSAULT ME AT THE BANK!

just like real life you cant turn your back near an atm, some fucking nigger will sneak up and try to stab you so he can take your money.

he was no match for my superhuman reflexes and leafblade however, with his bloated carcass littering the street i could get back to more pressing matters.

i ask what the command for paging a gm is to help make it seem like my story about them changing my name was true, after killing the newb at the bank i say that i am being chased complete with a frantic w string for effect.

aside from voice communications the second most challenging obstacle to overcome in the pursuite of other guilds banks is the "secret question" crap.

however the answer to these questions are frequently plastered all over said guilds website for all to see!

with my loot safely banked and my calling card left i realized that being in an elf starting city it was only a short jog to oromeas city.

i set out on my journey, not really sure what i was going to do when i got there but i was to close to pass up the opportunity.

a few minutes later i arroved at the gates to the city and suffered a MASSIVE drop in framerate, it was a good 2 minutes or so before i stopped locking up every few seconds.

i had never been to a player city where my pefrormance dropped so drastically....

 and this was why, in addition to the hundred or so people macroing or randomly running around the city there was a good 50 - 60 just sitting up against the wall performing as target dummies for others to level skills on.

this was the first time i had seen a "blood wall" or "wall of pain" in darkfall, at the time this was the preferred method of leveling skills for large carebear guilds as they could grind all of their stats/skills up without leaving the protection of their city.

as you can imagine the sight before me was completely unacceptable so after a quick call to arms in vent we had the ENTIRE CRUSHING ONLINE STRENGTH OF OUR GUILD EN ROUTE to destroy this evil.

moc, makestro and buto were on their way.

 in the meantime i sorted my loot at the bank.....

 pretty good score, the loot from this bank alone lasted me pretty much the whole time i played on the EU server.

the large amount of timber was certainly a nice touch as well, thanks tais =P

after sorting through my loot i noticed that officer chat was going apeshit, initially i thought i had been discovered.....

but i hadnt, instead i got to be amused by this petty officer chat drama between an angsty female and a newbie val roth for the remainder of the time until our guys got to the city. this by the way, is a perfect example of why i could never be in an alliance or large guild.

if i was val roth i would have just killed beatrixx and took all of her regs.

if i was beatrixx i would of just slaughtered everyone at the wall with a melee weapon to demonstrate how melee was "more deadly" than magic.

either way i couldn't stand to be guilded with the other.

*knock knock*

 i open the gate to allow the hit squad in.

 after wiping out a good 70% of the wall our low health heros were chased off by a swarm of naked mana missilers.

 unfortunately this is the only picture i have of the event, but the air was thick with blue bubbles of newb, there were a good 4 or 5 on the ground you cant make out and several afraid to leave the walls.

 fearing that the untimely demise of my guildmates was imminent i did the only sensible thing......

first i covered their escape by roasting newbs with the flamethrower.......

and then i killed the rest of the wall.

shortly after polishing off the rest of the wall i was killed by someone angry that we had ruined his melee training for the evening.

 after discovering that it was a foul member of house shivering that had slain me i send out a call to arms in guild, public and alliance chat demading retribution.

 most people that weren't afk immediately ran to the bank to throw their cloth armor and goblin sword in until the coup was over, after all pvp is scary and to be avoided at all costs.

get him bayardt!

at the bank a small skirmish broke out with several house shiverings being killed and various other allied guilds killing those responsible for killing the house shiverings only to in turn be attacked by the house shiverings that were returning from the bindstone.

fucking hilarious!

despite spending most of the fight dead i couldn't help but have a good laugh watching people randomly start killing one another not knowing why they were doing so and then subsequently get killed by the crowd not knowing why that happened either. the best part were the onlookers that just stood there turning back and forth watching like a dog follows a toy, you could almost see the "what the fuck is going on?" cropping up in their guildchats.

you can see some of the confusion in this screenshot =P

 with the cat out of the bag and having worn out my welcome long ago i set out back to the npc elf town to offload the loot from the bank.

while swimming one of the people i killed on the wall came back from being afk and let me know that i was a shitbag.

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 House of Sagacious

House of sagacious is an old guild that has stretched several different games.

my first experience with them was in shadowbane where they had teamed up with the order of the severed claw (wtf kind of stupid name is that?) and between just those two guilds had well over 1200 members bound to their cities on the ice continent.

for a solid 3 months the mix of 25 or so ex darkenbane and sullon zek message board trolls we had at the time slaughtered these guys left and right, day in day out, it was truly ridiculous. one of my most memorable fights from shadowbane was when 5 of us were at our city and successfully managed to kill nearly 30 of these guys that had come down for some asset destruction.

since i am discussing shadowbane and feeling nostalgic, i feel the need to point out that i am the guy who founded the "shadow consortium" guild in shadowbane and we housed many of the best players that game had to offer quickly making a reputation for the guild that many still remember when thinking of the guilds on the scorn server. after we all quit the game a guy named "zotics" made a guild with our name and pretended to be us, i used to kill zotics and his buddy hillbilly joe daily and force them to powerlevel our low level guys. the shadow consortium guild found at http://www.shadowconsortium.com/forums/ is and always has been an imposter guild of newbs, which is why they have been a joke in every game since shadowbane.

but enough of that, time to get reacquainted with house of sagacious.

 I needed a new angle instead of coming up with bullshit about the GMs changing my name and one day it came to me when killing a chinese farmer with a string of several i's and l's in his guildname, with the font darkfall used you could not tell the difference between an i and an l.

This is the first guild i used the now infamous (and of recently, bannable) I/L trick on

 unfortunately here the person i was posing as just so happened to be an alt character of the person i sent a tell to. fucking great.

what an idiot, my story makes perfect fucking sense.

i was about to go for a promotion but then evemora/neidirah started asking to many questions and wanted me to call her.

i was however tagged into the guild already thanks to her so i had my foot in the door.

 the biggest obstacle to getting promoted was for glass molz to figure out how to use the clan tab.

look closely at the above screenshot.

it is a screenshot of the closest siege in darkfall history!

evemora/neidirah was now suspicious of me and demoted BOTH neidirahs to captain (not sure why she chose captain of all ranks since you still have bank access at that rank lol)

meanwhile at the same time i have glass molz with his nose in a load screen trying to promote me to supreme general, whereupon i would demote everyone and steal the guild and their cities.

he ALMOST gets it but fucking promotes the WRONG NEIDIRAH to supremegeneral instead!

a few seconds before he would have found and promoted the second neidirah (me) evemora logs onto the real neidirah, who is now a supreme general again thanks to glass molz and demotes/bans me from the guild

if either i had initially specified supreme general instead of general (damn it), glass molz had promoted the correct neidirah or evemora was just a few seconds slower logging in to the real neidirah i would of had the guild and both of their holdings.

As i said this was the first time the I/L trick had been used and as you can see everyone was quite confused as to what the fuck was going on =P

same old shit.

 im pathetic, going to be banned, retarded, fat, no girlfriend etc etc.

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Virakar

This time i decided to try something a little different, i was still doing the I/L thing but instead of simply saying i had to detag for a trade or something like that i figured i would concoct some kind of good news as well, folks are always less confrontational when they just recieved good news because they do not want to ruin the mood.

by default most people are also petty and jealous so if my good news was that i had just won the lottery irl or stumbled onto a million gold in game they would be pissed off and jealous.

my good news was that i had acquired a brigantine, fun for the whole guild!

i didn't even have to ask to be promoted, the "good news method" is going to be my preferred bankganking method from now on.

could anyone be more wrong all at the same time?

i am varangian guard (lol)

i am with the goons

i must be someone they have owned in the past which forced me to this nefarious act.

there was nothing of value in the bank.

i lurk their boards (that dont work) 

to his credit i am sure that his guild does die more than any others on yssam, but the fact they all went and dirtnapped to the mercs makes them pvp masterminds apparently.

the one thing he is right about is that i do in fact have no fucking idea (or "nfi" in trendy text messaging retard speak) who his guild is, or care for that matter.

 also what is with the "ya" instead of " you" shit? i mean even someone that has had the majority of their skull removed via shotgun surgery would realize the above does not look cool or badass, but instead just stupid. he's probably a wigger with bleached shoes and a basketball hat with an ironed visor.

who is crying here folks?

certainly couldn't be mr xao jet could it? lol

this is another common theme when stealing banks, "there was nothing in the bank newb! if you would have waited for days, weeks or months until more was in there you would have gotten more! lol you newb!" i am pretty sure this particular breed of moron isn't just trying to save face but actually thinks their argument is logical and sound, which is why they are the ones being stolen from.

but who knows, maybe there is something to the idea that their guild is so terrible that even after the guy i am impersonating logged on my version could remain undetected for long periods of time.

in any case why waste time and effort on a longterm deal when there are hundreds of people like this you can rip off with minimal effort? i much prefer the 10 - 20 minute bankgank, if it doesn't work there is always a new grouping of retards to attempt it on and i didn't waste time fucking around.

for the rest of my time in darkfall i can never let on to who did this, never get the credit.

 yeah so anyway xao jet continues to talk about his cock and sexual acts in general, kallawen says something about my dick although im still not sure if he was offering to blow me or telling me to do the same, apparently it took him most of preceeding 15 minutes to think of that crushing insult so we will leave him alone to continue eating paint.

what a bunch of fucking morons.

..........................................................................

Lost Minions

krush darkgod is the guy that updates the darkfall political map and runs the fansite over at darkfallinfo.com, that and the fact that a few days prior to this i was grinding stats by destroying buildings in his hamlet while he bindrushed for 2 hours until i got bored and left is the reason his guild popped up on my radar. it is always fun to nail someone that is active in the community because when the eventual threads crop up about something you did that is one extra person to verify what a giant asshole you are.

i start in with my good news boat bullshit.

the boat ruse worked again and i was promoted before i even got around to asking.

unfortunately i was then demoted 36 seconds later,  of course at that exact time a nice EU server trademark lag spike kicked in and prevented me from looting the rest of the bank.

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Mystical Awakening

 this is one of the methods i would use to tell who was online so i could figure out who to impersonate and who was responsive that i could send a tell to.

looking at the roster i would send some kind of tell to the officers inquiring about if a given item was for sale or which alliance their guild was in etc.

as you can see this guy is a retard.

as such........

 hey look, theres that raft i was looking for =P

 one minute after it finally dawned on marlen that i wanted to be promoted instead of showered with "kk np" all fucking day i was bumped up and had the bank.

after a quick look through the bags i found that the coveted raft was the guild most highly prized posession as the rest of the shit was a bunch of newb crap.

and since they had no holding i didn't want to waste the effort on getting promoted to supreme general and stealing their guild.

instead i just started kicking out everyone that i could as punishment for not having better loot.

 yes, they just banned both the real eikinblahwhatever and the fake one i was on.

no, they never did put two and two together and ponder at why there was more than one.

something is happening, dunno what exactly......

 EVERYONE BANK YOUR STUFF!

lol that shit reminds me of rallos zek where the carebears were constantly doing zone checks and the seconds one of us evil pks entered the zone they started screaming for everyone to bag their gear.

i am not sure what banking their stuff was going to do exactly, mr w0rm inated here probably didn't either and was just going off of instincts. this is the sort of guy that will be fully geared and stand there at the bank giving up backshots to a freshly rezzed naked guy and die because he wanted to try and bank all of his shit instead of turning around and hitting the attacker once or twice.

after a minute i realized that these dumbshits all still thought i was their guildmate so i decided to run with it.

 marlen had tried to unban all the members i had booted to keep them from being removed from the guild, however that doesn't work and they were all kicked anyway.

gotta love the internet badass to. has anyone in the history of online games ever actually been scared or intimidated by this shit?

there used to be a thread on this guilds message boards talking about what a loser their ex guildmate was for stealing their bank, i guess he either quit the game and never cleared his name or all of the dumbshits in his guild didn't believe him. unfortunately they have since moved to the "hardcore pvp game" of AION and deleted their darkfall boards so i am unable to showcase that thread here.

 they did however update their guild history section with a list of their darkfall achievements......

lol

seriously, why even list this type of shit on your website? if you have no achievements you shouldn't have an achievements section. it is like filling up a trophy case with a bunch of 10 cent 17th place ribbons.

dunno maybe it impresses the aion retards and convinces them that their guild is a battle hardened pk guild.

pretty niggery loot, i didn't even leave one of their happy shields as a calling card because that was one of the more valuable items.

oh well, some regs at least and i didn't have to walk 20 feet to the crafting bench to make any blackbolts for awhile.

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 Solo Raider

 It would be hard to find someone that played darkfall since the euro release who hasn't heard of celiah ailey and by affiliation his guild.

celiah ailey is an eccentric spaz that bills himself as the worlds best pvper and likes to use about 50 different colors of text in his message board posts while lamenting all of the unfair evils of agon.

he became an even more popular source of jokes for the community after making this video of a duel between him and some other gimp where he ran around in circles and managed to have 7 mounts shot out from under him until the other guy ran out of horses (this is when horses wieghed .5 instead of 100 pounds and did more damage), of course the ridiculous fight was only half of the comedy in the video, the other half was his nasally voiced commentary, this is also where the old forum "firekick!" joke came from.

i had started in with the "good news" routine on celiah and it was going well but he either crashed or wen't afk before inviting me to the guild, in the process of our conversation i found out that solo raider was planning a siege the following morning.

since celiah was unresponsive i sent a half assed tell to thaggarth thunderfist whos only dialogue consisted of "yo" and an invite + promotion that i didn't even have to ask for.

that bag of loot is all that was worth keeping from their bank, i was expecting mostly a bunch of newbie trash given that most people in the guild were...... well newbs that didn't even have their conversions/launch at the time so no surprise at the shitty bank contents. i did expect a big bag of mounts though after having watched that video, maybe celiah used them all =p

 as i was logging celiah came back just in time to let me know that my melodramatic string of sad faces had not been in vain.

i had placed a bunch of empty bags back in the bank before logging to delay discovery and the next morning just before siege time i logged in to see if i could steal the money being wagered on the siege from the bank..

apparently they had just discovered the missing bank and my treachery.

while the comittee of retards from various guilds chime in with their two cents neg malwich lays a sinister undertone by pointing out that this was NO ORDINARY BANKLOOTING as their bag of garbage was all taken in the SAME SECOND.

(if a bunch of shit is in a bag it all shares the same timestamp as it was one loot)

 the only person with anything of value to say was mapi blackreef who pointed out a better recruitment policy probably would have helped, he was then promptly told to shut up =P

 i start making fun of celiah's yotube video and he starts spamming his alliance chat until map, always the voice of wisdom amongst the fucktard legion tell him to stfu and points out that he is an idiot. 

"lol urdin internet here OMGGG leet 5k1ll3r , now titis or gtfo fu lame" 

what?

while i marvel at the above line and am subsequently told to google it cal vanzid kills a solo raider guy for telling him to go fuck himself and more drama starts over that, it is the final straw for celiah. he can no longer handle it and runs off into the wilderness to be one with nature and molest the small animals.

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This episode is continued in part two